


E + R

by stevebarnessss



Category: IT 2017, it 2019 - Fandom
Genre: Eddie doesn’t die uwu, Eddie is a gay disaster, M/M, Pennywise a BITCH, and a tiny dot of fluff, like BIG angst, reddie is real, so is Richie, uhhh angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 00:02:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20826011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevebarnessss/pseuds/stevebarnessss
Summary: Where Eddie Kaspbrak is in his late thirties and is still isn’t over his crush on his best friend that a certain clown used against Eddie as he looked for his artifact.





	E + R

Eddie Kapbrak was a man who was afraid of many things. His sexuality was one of them, growing up during the HIVS/AIDS epidemic really screwed with his mind as a child, Eddie viewer his sexuality as an illness. A horrible, incurable, illness that made Eddie feel butterflies whenever he locked eyes with his best friend Richie Tozier. 

Eddie had walked somewhere that his mind couldn’t remember but his heart did; The kissing bridge. Over 27 years ago, Eddie had carved into the kissing bridge putting in his initial and a boys initial. When Eddie looked down at the carved piece he tried to fight back the butterflies in his stomach. 

E + R.

And just a few centimeters away laid R + E. Eddie never knew who the other carving was for but it seemed like the person barely scratched the wood, as if afraid they’d be caught. Meanwhile Eddie’s was so embedded into the wood the carving looked new. 

Eddie then ripped at the bottom of the wooden pillar where a rusty knife laid. Eddie shuddered at the horrifying memory, it happened just a few days after Richie and Bill’s fight. 

Younger Eddie stared at the blank spot in the wood, tightly clutching onto the knife as if this was his only chance before his confidence would fade and his feelings would stay bottled up forever. 

His feelings that he had towards his own best friend. Eddies’ best friend that didn’t know when was the wrong time to say a joke or didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut or his stupid accents,,that all the stupid things Richie Tozier did never failed to bring a smile to Eddies’ face. 

Eddie felt like he was supposed to view it as disgusting but his heart sang otherwise. Eddie felt like now was his only chance before he accidentally spilled his feelings to someone other than himself. 

Eddie then crouched down and let out a shaky breath as the knife was placed against the wood, and with careful yet rough hands he carved in an ‘E’ it seemed to deep, like it would never fade. But this was ireraszble, it would forever be embedded into the wood so why not make the whole thing stay? 

Eddie then lifted the knife as ‘+ R’ stood next to the singular ‘E’. Eddie smiled softly at it, his feelings finally announced somewhere, where people would think it was just a boy or a girl trying to tell their feelings to the world never knowing it was made by a boy who had feelings for his guy friend. 

“Ed’s!” 

Eddie suddenly placed the knife inside the wooden pillar below the carving and covered it with a piece of wood. Eddie leaned against the bridge trying to play it off as Richie came into view and Eddie could feel his head skip a beat. 

“Hey Rich” Eddie said holding onto his cast, which was his newfound nervous habit. “What are you here for?” Eddie asked.

Richie hopped off his bike, he was wearing one of his stupid Hawaiian shirts and his tan cargo shorts. Richie never had a sense of style but Eddie always complimented Richies’ clothing choice. “I was about to ask you the same thing. I was looking for you, Eddie Spaghetti” Richie said as he softly punched Eddie’s cheek. 

Eddie could feel the butterflies growing at the nickname he “hated”, truthfully Eddie didn’t hate the nickname he just disliked the fact how giddy it made him feel when it was said by Richie. “You know I hate that nickname” Eddie sighed as he swatted at Richie’s hand lightly. Eddie always took that opportunity to touch Richie’s surprisingly soft hands, Eddies’ only opportunity was when Richie pinched his cheeks. 

“No you don’t” Richie said, with a grin. 

It wasn’t his usual, shit eating grin, no it looked almost mischievous. Richie was anything but mischievous. Eddie dipped his brows slightly, a bit suspicious but brushed it off. “You got proof?” Eddie said, trying to intimidate Richie by crossing his arms over his chest. 

Richie then leaned down his face barley centimeters from Eddie’s and Eddie could feel his heart practically about to burst out of his chest. Eddie tried his hardest to keep his eyes on Richies and try not to move them down to his slightly parted lips. 

“Do you actually hate the nickname?” Richie whispered. 

“N-no” Eddie said his face warming up as he glanced off to the side, but before he fully looked away Eddie caught a glimpse of Richie’s lips. 

Richie moved away from Eddie a triumphant smile on his face. “That’s my proof” Richie said. Eddie’s legs felt like jello and his arms felt like noodles, it was surprising how weak Richie made Eddie feel. “Did you honestly think I was gonna kiss you?” Richie asked. 

Eddie kept his grip tight on his bridge, Richie sounded disgusted, of course Richie would be disgusted! His best friend thought he wanted to kiss him! It still hurt though, it hurt really bad that Eddie wanted to erase the carving. 

Richie threw his head back and laughed, it wasn’t one of his normal laughs when he teased Eddie it said a god awful joke, no it sounded so horrifying. When Richie looked back at Eddie his eyes were no longer there warm brown chestnut color, they were yellow, they were the same yellow eyes that Eddie feared. 

Eddie scrambled away from the wooden post as the ‘E + R’ was now revealed. The clowns smile only widened, it seemed so wide that it took up half of its face. “I know your secret, your dirty little secret” The clown said in a sing-song voice. 

Eddie took in deep breaths reaching for his inhaler and turned to leaves before something the clown shouted made Eddie want to cry. “Don’t touch the other boys Eddie, or else they’ll know your secret too!” It cackled. 

The now older man shifted the knife in his hands before shoving it into his pocket. Eddie sighed his hands resting on the ‘E + R’ before removing his hand and began walking away. 

Eddie was afraid of many things but maybe this time he could check off his sexuality as one of his fears. Especially since Eddie now planned to tell Richie everything, from his feelings to his fear, no longer caring about the rejection or disgust. 

If the Losers had to show the clown they weren’t afraid anymore, Eddie would do anything, even confess his never ending crush on Richie Tozier: his best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> Y’all please don’t be mad that I literally stole the line IT tells Richie in the book :(


End file.
